and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
