literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
