Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize