Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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