Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
