Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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