okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
