That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
