wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
