if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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