I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
