I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
