If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
