i think my mom watched the whole time
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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