I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
