It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
