Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
