it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
tell me about the eggs
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
