She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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