My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
