i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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