I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
