i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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