i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
