when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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