Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
