If i come over, it means nothing
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
