Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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