at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Im part way to drunk.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
