so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
