i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
