I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
