My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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