Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
