:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
