haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize