No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
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the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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