sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
