? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I want to fling myself into the sun
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
