I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
