Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well I just put wine in my tea
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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