I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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