True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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