Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
