Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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