it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
