Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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