I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
