i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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