Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so explain again why im purple
no
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
