Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Drunk is a universal language darling
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
