all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
