I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
