Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
