I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
