OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
