he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
