I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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