She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
