I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
