she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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