Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize