All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
