i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
