Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
