I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
