what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
