Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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