So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
